Buried Alive

Shovel after shovel of newly dug dirt,
I hear your muffled cry less and less.
Tearful apologies, “I never meant to hurt you”
Even your lies can’t mend my fallen dreams.
I remember my first cry and how
You caught my tear, you didn’t want it to
Fall, but now my tears fall more and
You don’t bother to catch them anymore.
I wipe a tear and add another mound
Because you don’t care really
And you’re not sorry, you’re just scared.
Because this time you hurt as much
As me. But your hurt is what brought
Me here, what bout your wrists what
Sealed this box, what buried you alive.
I just wanted you to wipe another
Tear, to say you loved me again and
Still I see me, not you, in the casket.
I can’t beat this love, I can’t hurt
You like you hurt me.

I can’t bury you alive.

I can’t beat the pang I feel when
I see you, when I reach out and you turn
Away, when you tell me things aren’t what
They used to be and burying you alive
Won’t bury this and you aren’t in a
Casket and I’m not shoveling dirt
And I’m not in control and you aren’t
Crying and apologizing and you
Are in your room and you’re not thinking
About me in the least. And I am holding
Your shirt and searching for your scent and
Now I lay gasping for air and now
My thoughts, my feelings are like the dirt
Being shoveled on my early grave. My tear
Falls with nothing to block its path and you
Bury me alive.

And the worst part is not my kicking
And screaming or the scratch marks
Inside this wooden box or my gasps
For breath that come fewer as time
Goes on. But through this all you do to me,
I love you.